Okay...I took a break. I needed it. I was beginning to get the attitude that all men were jerks and only wanted to get down my pants. I know that isn't true, but the guys that I were dating were certainly no catches. So I walked away for a while.

Last night, I decided to test the waters again.

- Tuesday I meet a stranger named Rene at Starbucks. He lives in Alpharetta.
- I call Warren to make plans to go out with (another stranger)who lives in Woodstock about 5 minutes from me (though he doesn't know that).
- Tomorrow I call George (yep, another stranger) to see if we are alike enough to get to have coffee or something.

I have a totally different attitude about the whole internet dating scene now.

There are days when I look at the lake that I seriously have to remind myself why I don't move back there. I mean look at her today.






And then I remember the people that live around the lake, their horrible god, the fact I'd have no one to circle with and no Pagans to understand me or to socialize with. *sigh* I wish the Lake were here, but then she wouldn't be what she is.

The smell of rain...the dogs breathing next to me....the birds sing like at sunrise right after the rain stops. Neighbor kids wearing red rubber boots slashing in puddles. The youngest, a boy, collecting worms. Wet pavement. Hot coffee. The moment is delicious.

One of the things I observe is the way customers feel they need to give me irrelevant information when I ask them a yes or no question. For example, a lady comes in and tells me she wants the book about that one guy who was locked up in the last leper colony in America. I politely get the book (Sanctuary of Outcasts...excellent book btw) and ask her if there will be anything else much in the same way people with paper hats on their heads ask you if you want fries with that, although I resist using the tone of voice that says, "I've helped you, been humiliated and now want you to go" which is what those same paper hat employees sound like when asking you if you want greasy potatoes.

The lady does not answer my yes or no question. Instead she tells me it is her oldest son's birthday tomorrow.

"Oh, would you like a suggestion for his gift?" Again a yes or no question.

"Well, you see he lives in Michigan and I hardly ever see him, but this year he is coming to the South and you can bet I am excited."

I try to picture my own mother and the happiness she radiates when seeing her grandchildren and such. I politely ask how long he will stay. 2 weeks. And she tells me he is divorced, unemployed and her story gets so depressing that my mind starts to double track. I wonder how we got on to this line of conversation. I'm already taking anti-depressants and really don't need to hear a lot of sniffles, but on the other hand I do need to stay aware of the world right?

"...it sounds like you will have a great visit and I am sure he is looking forward to seeing you."

I find the words coming out of my mouth as I wonder if my acne medicine is working, if it will rain, and worse, how I can sell her a membership out of this whole thing. After all, memberships are keeping me employed. So I tell her I just thought of the perfect gift for her son. I go into how the savings card she is going to buy him will work at any Barnes & Noble store so he could use it here or in Michigan. He could even use it on line. As the words are tumbling out, I begin to wonder about the dripping noise I heard in my bathroom in the morning.

"Great," I hand her the pen and form. I start thinking about sex while she is telling me that she never liked his X-wife. I charge her for the card which saves her money too. Then I start to thinking that if she had answered my questions with yes/no answers, she wouldn't be buying a card. I would most likely be ringing up the next person.

I have to remember that when people ask me yes/no questions.